I (finally) graduated from the University of Michigan this weekend and I’ll be starting as a physics PhD student at Harvard University in the fall. Starting off studying computer science (2010), dropping out to work in big tech on low-prevalence high-severity harms (2013), pivoting to accelerate genomics research during COVID (2021), and then returning to school to study astrophysics (2022) has been a pretty goofy path through life, but undoubtedly a fun one.

Returning to school after eight years was humbling. I went from leading teams and initiatives to sitting in introductory physics and astronomy courses with students fresh out of high school. I remember chatting with some childhood friends shortly after I got back to school (amusingly, on floaties in a pool with widely varying degrees of hangover the morning after a wedding), hearing all of the incredible things they were accomplishing. For a moment (and in some other moments since), I felt like I had taken a huge step backwards because I was back at square zero, doing what everybody else had done a decade earlier. But those moments pass. I had to recharacterize success to be about what fulfilled me even if it meant leaving a career that I was decent at (and a compensation package that I quite enjoyed).

The upside of this pivot has been immense. I wake up each morning more excited to get out of bed than I ever have before. I feel stupid many times a day, but that’s what growth and development often feel like. I love the problems that I get to work on (and I even love most of the p sets). I get to think about how the universe evolves, galaxies form, spacetime curves, and how stars live and die. I feel wonder and curiosity every day and I get to ask incredibly smart people as many (less smart) questions as I want. It’s hard as hell and I get frustrated often, but that seems like a fair price for the opportunity to ponder the cosmos.

Looking forward, I get to start the next chapter at the university I’ve always dreamed of attending. A mantra that I’ve come to internalize is to “be the stupidest person in the room” (not to be stupid on purpose, but to be in rooms where everybody is smarter than you) and, for better or for worse, I think that’s going to be uncomfortably easy for me going forward.

It’s also scary to be starting when the government is openly hostile towards academia and is specifically trying to make an example of the institution I’ll call home, but the university’s fierce defense of academic freedom keeps me hopeful. As hard as they try to tear everything down, they can’t stop people from looking up to the skies.

I want to end this message with some notes of gratitude.

• My research advisor: Professor Camille Avestruz. In addition to being incredibly helpful in shaping my research, you’ve been the first person I go to with any physics career question and you’re more of an advocate for me than I could have ever asked for from an advisor. I’ve been blessed with brilliant managers throughout my career, but I don’t think anyone has shown as much care or investment in me as you have.
• Professor Dragan Huterer: you helped me fall in love with cosmology and strengthened my belief in myself as a physicist. What more can I say than that
• Research collaborators / advisors: Dr. Yuanyuan Zhang and Professor Anja von der Linden. Your engagement and feedback on my research project has been extremely valuable to shape the path of the paper. Your suggestions were fundamental to the NSF GRFP Honorable Mention and you helped me feel welcome in a large collaboration
• The student in QM office hours who said I looked like his uncle(s): I appreciate good banter, that’s objectively hella funny, and that renewed my hunger to lock in and earn that A+ and others.
• University of Michigan, Astronomy: I remember speaking to Professor Keren Sharon on a call before I had even returned to Ann Arbor. I had no idea how to structure classes, start with research, begin to plan for grad school. In that advising appointment and others (with Professor Nuria Calvet, who has a superpower of bringing a smile to literally anyone’s face whenever she wants), you provided me reassurance, guidance, and belonging
• University of Michigan, College of Engineering: I’m grateful for the opportunity to return after a ~8 year hiatus without any sort of pushback. I just had to send a few emails and I was back. That’s an immense privilege and it is allowing me to pursue my dreams. I will forever be a proud wolverine. So long, and thanks for all the fish.